Drama craze

Have been watching Protect the Boss this week. Practicing the skill of skiming through a drama.. N on top of the high skill of skiming, ders a higher skill which i have.. My heart still aches for the lead charcters in the drama.. Think i am going crazy.. Watching 我可能不会爱你 too.. Cnt wait 4 e nxt episode~ both are highly recomended dramas by mad! :D


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后年。。。

一年的时间，当大家忙着忙着，很快就过去了吧。我会学着习惯没有你的生活。我现在已经做得很好了不是吗？ 姐姐，祝你幸福！虽让我们已慢慢的疏远了，有好多事我都没办法跟你说了。有万分的不舍。。。想着后年的事。。。

I ponder..

Late in the night, I ponder.. I am thinking.. Thinking if I should take this step ahead. I am afraid. Afraid that I will fall again.. Maybe you are too..

You never know..

You never know how hard things are for me. I wanted to change long ago. When you suddenly left me on my own, she's the one left that I approached. Deep in me I know of the guilt, the feeling of using her as we were never that close. I learnt. Learnt to let go, learnt to get used to not having you around. Learn that she's the only one there around though how bad she treated me. I learn to forget my hate, forget my anger and learn to toralate her.

You were the one who say we will all do it together. But we were again left alone, with another battle and a double battle for me as I need to deal with her constant attitude. I really want to change. I want to be evil and selfish. But I can't. Feelings are just too hard for me.

Hopefully, one day when I am extreme badly hurt, I will learn.

了解

要完全了解一个人，应该很难吧。看着妈妈爸爸，让我想到：＂如果要和不了解你的人生活下半辈子，很悲哀吧~＂我和妹妹总是想着，＂为什么人要活得这么辛苦？＂也许不去这么想，就这样活着，就没那么苦了吧？
我还在等待，等待着那个可以了解我的人，等待着使我觉得这样活着是有意义的人。。那一天会到来吧？


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如果我就这样死了？

好累好累。。每当我好累时，想逃离这个世界时，都会逼自己到梦里去。我真的累了。也睡了很久。白马王子呢？


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Feeling meaningless all over again..

I really hate the life I am living now. Maybe it's not life at all. Who's the gamer controlling me??!! Get a life!!!! I hate a lot of things my family is like, but there's nothing i can do but abide. That's life huh? I should be doing my e-learn for my driving.. Tsk tsk.. I really need a real break before practicum starts. But it'll never come.. Next week will be more hectic with the renovation at ah ma house..


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母亲节快乐！

Happy mother's day to all the gr8 mums!! Esp to my dearest 伟大的妈妈: Your actions are not something any daughter-in-law or wife can do. U r reali gr8 to carry out all e responsibilities. During all these hard times we r going through, do stay strong, healthy & happy. Love u so much!
My dearest 阿嬷: i love u so much tat i cry over & over, seeing u go through these hard times.. Stay strong!

P.S. While we wait for the rainbow after rain~ another bad news to share: juz learnt tat my uncle gt cancer. I m scared. I dun noe how much more r cuming... Dun noe how much more we can tak.. Dun noe how much more we can do. Count e secs, mins, days.. Tats how far we can go.



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Every mark counts

I am so unhappy & angry with myself. Always making stupid mistakes in tests.. I m real dumb!! Every mark is a gold!! I cnt afford 2 even lost half of it! Sobsss.. Bt all my careless-ness is making me lose all e gold. Really feel like dying.. I nid 2 wrk super hard 4 exams.. Which is a wk away only..


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Updated wishlist!! =D

My birthday wishlist:
1) Disney princess series children books-my side of the story.. (there r a few bks)
2) a pair of sports shoes
3) new bag for school
4) clothes!!
5) Wii
6) My favourite fruits: pear, 水梨, red dragon fruit, mango..
7) My favourite junk food: chocolates, tim tam, sweets..
8) My favourite colour & character: pink & hello kitty!!

9) Crocs+jibbitz

Cravings~

I am craving for cream cake!!!! I asked mama to buy me a whole birthday cake. Haha. I really feel like eating tat.. Will save some money and buy myself one...

I hate my life & i hate myself!

Many a time i juz wonder.. Y is my life so miserable?? I really hate myself. If only i can be ignorant like the rest. I jus cnt bear to see my mum spending all her time getting busy alone for unavoidable situations. I m reali doing my best to help. I m sooo tired tat at times i juz feel like closing 2 eyes.. Bt wen i tink tat mum will b 100 times more tired, my heart aches. I dragged myself to help. I really hope sometimes people can see things the way i do.. I feel like running away again~ really running away. Grandma is not getting any better..

Everyone has a different role to play at different times.. I hope i'll get a better role next time..

Cheer up Madeleine! U r getting older! *cries*

Here comes my birthday wishlist:
1) Disney princess series children books-my side of the story.. (there r a few bks)
2) a pair of sports shoes
3) new bag for school
4) clothes!!
5) Wii
6) My favourite fruits: pear, 水梨, red dragon fruit, mango..
7) My favourite junk food: chocolates, tim tam, sweets..
8) My favourite colour & character: pink & hello kitty!!


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What can I do??

Mama is so 可怜. She has to go over ah ma house everyday to help out with ah ma. & now, bad news came again, most prob wai po is going hospi again. I really hope I can help mama. Holidays are ending soon & I only get to enjoy a very short holiday. So hope there's another me. So hope there's another mama. We are living a weird life now. Hope everything goes back to normal soon. I don't like the changes. If they are good ones, I don't mind working hard to go along. But the changes are just weird. I want my life back!